It's Not Them, It's You!

by David Stewart (other articles by David Stewart)

I was chatting to someone last week who I have known for most of my life. His tale of woe seemed to have no end. Bad relationship, money troubles and plenty more on top of this seemed to add to his pain. We spent some time talking and rather than provide solutions I just allowed him to vent. Over the course of our time together one thing became blindingly apparent. He didn't feel like he was able to live up to the expectations he had set for himself. He constantly referred to Joe Bloggs who had more money or Fred who spent more time with his kids or some other guy who seemed to have the perfect relationship.


In this media obsessed world we are constantly fed a diet of perfection. The perfect job, the perfect wife, the perfect kids and with it, the perfect life. Well, let me tell you, it doesn't exist. The lives your friends are leading on Facebook, the air brushed images you see in the magazines and the lifestyles of your favourite celebrities are carefully choreographed to paint the illusion of perfection. Perfect is just not real.

No one has it all together and even if they did it would be bloody boring. As human beings we need the bad to allow us to appreciate the good. We are supposed to be challenged by life so that we can aspire to keep improving. It is the lowest points in life that create the character that allows exquisite and wonderful things to happen.

When you look at someone else and compare what you have or what you are doing with them, you set yourself up for disappointment. If your perception of their reality is based on their public persona, not only are you missing the intricacies of their daily battles, you are trying to live up to a fantasy. Draw inspiration from those who have achieved and allow their achievements to fuel your fire for further development but never judge your self-worth by comparing your progress with that of others. We all have different paths to tread and the way to true happiness is to be able to look in the mirror every morning and like the person you are or are becoming. This reality has nothing to do with public perception or what your peers think of you, it is solely determined by what you think of yourself.

Just remember Brad Pitt probably wishes he had Bill Gates money and Bill Gates probably wishes he looked like Brad Pitt. Be kind to yourself.

08th April, 2014

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